"The soul is healed by being with children." -Fyodor Dostoevsky

It seems that I don't really know where to begin today. And yet, there is so much to tell, so much to rejoice in because of the children who surround me and heal my soul...


(Left: Liel Family Photo, Christmas 2010)


I'll start with the title of today's blog...
Dostoevsky? I recently picked up a copy of The Brothers Karamazov and I am excited to continue reading Dostoevsky again as the foreward explains that this story will change me as a reader. To those who may not be familiar with this Russian novelist, Dostoevsky was a brillant writer! He is known as the "novelist of ideas" and he was a deeply religious man that passionately believed in Love, Christ-like Love.


I was surprised this week when I received a package in the mail from a dear friend of mine, Megan Maley. Megan teaches at Grove City Christian Academy and her 5th and 6th grade students are pen-pals with my 10 middle schoolers at BFA. The package consisted of the second round of letters between our students as well as one addressed to me from Megan. The card was handmade and on the front of the note it said, "The soul is healed by being with children. --Fyodor Dostoevsky"

After the past several weeks, I am beginning to identify Dostoevsky's brillance because I can testify to a soul being healed by the love of Christ and His children.

This year, my journal entries/blog posts have been an opportunity for you to meet our middle schoolers, receive a glimpse of this residence life ministry, and also share in the some of the spiritual truths and lessons that I have been learning. What I have not shared in great detail are the events of this year that have been hard, hurtful, burdensome, and deeply challenging. Because of the reality that this is a public domain, there are certain things I cannot share. Out of respect for our students' safety and privacy, there are other things that I cannot share.

But this year has been hard.

I honestly did not expect my first year in missions to be as hard as it has been, BUT I can tell you that when my soul was wounded...when my heart was hurting....when I was feeling empty, Christ came, Christ rescued, Christ healed... through various means:


Through the children...

• During the first week of Spring semester, after my personal computer was left in the States to be fixed and repaired, Joyce gifted me her old MP3 player with 396 of her favorite worship songs
• During one of my days off this semester, I received a note under my door from one of my girls that said, "Lauren, JESUS LOVES YOU and so do I!"
• During the first weekend of the semester, the girls and I were watching Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants and Ira came and filled my lap for the first time

Through my co-workers...

• The prayers of His people are beautiful! I have been profoundly encouraged and blessed by the laying on of hands--by dorm parents, the chaplain's assistant, fellow RAs, and my small group leader. In experiencing difficult circumstances, God has helped me to value my community of believers as I had neglected to do before. Over the past two weeks, these sweet friends and brothers and sisters in Christ have spoken truth to me that I had forgotten.
• Gifts of comfort from a fellow co-worker: wool socks and Irish tea :)
• Staff Support: when there is a situation that I am not qualified to handle in the dorm relating to a student's health (physical, emotional, or spiritual), I am able to process with these staff members at any time, call them at any time, and ask for advice at any time. It is a relief to know that I am neither working alone nor bearing student's burdens alone

Through Scripture/Devotionals/Truths...

• Psalm 33 "Our soul waits for the LORD, He is our help and our shield. For our heart is glad in Him, because we trust in His holy name. Let your steadfast love, O LORD, be upon us, even as we hope in you."
• Jerimiah 29 "For I know the plans I have for you....plans to give you hope..."
• Streams in the Desert, January 20, "God never uses anyone to a great degree until He breaks the person completely. Joseph experienced more sorrow than the other sons of Jacob and it led him into a ministry of food for all nations... It takes sorrow to expand and deepen the soul."
• Prayer of a friend, "Christ has pursued you to His death..."
• Prayer of a friend, "God's will and His plans for you fit you exquisitely."
• Streams in the Desert, January 23, "Darkness is a treasure. There is immeasurable wealth in tribulation."
• Commentary on Psalm 10, "However distant may be the day of justice, one promise is not delayed: THOU WILT STRENGTHEN THEIR HEART."
  

In short, I guess I never anticipated what it would take for the children and the people here to minister to me. I expected that I would do the ministering! I expected that I would do the praying. I expected to be the missionary! Afterall, I thought I came to give, not receive. Yet, I was so very wrong. How silly it was to think that I would not have sorrow here. How silly it was to think that I would not have needs.

And yet, God knew I needed to be made broken before I could do any kingdom building here. He knew that before I could be a comforter, I needed to experience real pain. He knew that before I could exhort someone to walk by faith, I needed to learn how to trust. He knew that I needed to experience loss in order to understand true gain.

The Christian life was never meant to be an easy one. It is neither about wealth nor health. Jesus commands us to take up our cross! How could I ever expect this to be painless? Just because I said 'yes' to Jesus does not mean that I deserve an easy life. Just because I decided to be a missionary does not mean that I will never walk through a valley. Peter was crucified upside down. Paul was imprisoned. Stephen was stoned. These men were deeply committed to Jesus--they loved Him and they were willing to endure all things to stand for Christ.

Christians and missionaries alike are not exempt from having wounds, suffering, and needing help. And just because Lauren Roop suffers, does not mean that she is loved any less by her Heavenly Father. May we all learn to more gladly receive and embrace our suffering and our sorrow as we trust God to use it for something beautiful and good. Afterall, He turned the cross into something glorious.

I praise God today that my soul has been/will be/and is being healed by Christ through His Word and through His children, both young and old.

To the One who makes all things whole,
Lauren

A few pictures...

Our super studious middle school girls on the first day of school...I love it!

Priscilla, Britta, Joyce, and Laura

January 11

Catching up over tea with my Grove City girls :)

Natalie, Amy, Jade: You are so great!

This is Katie...she is getting married in April. She is pretty excited, can you tell?

Our visit together over break was wonderful!

A New Start...

So, it's been exactly one month since my last update when the fall semester was ending and our Liel kiddos were preparing to go home. As of yesterday at 1:30 pm, our Liel family is back together for a new start and the beginning of the spring semester at BFA! All of our students were able to go home to South Korea, Moldova, France, Italy, and all corners of the earth it seems! I was also able to spend three weeks in the States which was such a special time for me. I am so grateful to my financial supporters who made it possible for me to go home...thank you!

A few highlights to share from our first few days back in Germany...

• We welcomed a new student to the dorm on Monday and we are so glad to have Britta with us! Monday afternoon we spent some time getting to know one another over a "spot of tea" and it was such a treat! Britta explains that she thoroughly enjoys tea and researching names. She loves looking into the meanings of names and she proceeded to share with me the names of several of her future children :) I must confess that this is something I also did in middle school!
  
• Bob, Sue, and I are so thankful that we have one semester under our belts. We are so much more prepared and organized for this semester and we can see that our confidence is building in the work that was once so unfamiliar to us. It feels so right to be back together again. I can't imagine serving without Bob and Sue...I have grown in love and admiration for them and their hearts for ministry.

A few highlights from my Christmas break...

• Muskogee Church of Christ (MCC) invited me back to Oklahoma for two days to share with the youth about my work in Germany. MCC is one of my supporting churches and it is also the place where I interned for two summers in 2008 and 2009. I was delighted to go back and see how the kids have grown! No only are they getting taller, but I can see how God is continuing to enlarge their hearts. I was able to share what it has meant for me to walk by faith and leave my family. I was able to explain how faithful God has been and continues to be. I also brought back several pieces of German chocolate and used them as an object lesson to illustrate what it looks like to embrace a gift we are given despite our lack of understanding as to what it is ...what it contains...and what it might taste like. The kids couldn't read the German on the wrapper...they had no idea what kind of chocolate it was...whether it was good or bad. They couldn't ask their friends or their parents about it either. So they trusted me. They trusted that I wouldn't give them something that would harm them. So they took and they ate. And they tasted something really sweet! They quickly identified the parallels. So often we don't know or can't understand what God is doing in our life or where He is taking us or what He requires of us. But despite our lack of understanding, we trust in the God whose demands are not burdensome...we trust in the God who feeds us good things...we trust in the God who has come to give us life! As my time of sharing ended, one of the adults, and a wonderful friend of mine asked those present to pray over me. I was overwhelmed. As hands were laid on me, I felt more encouraged than I ever been as "my kids" began to pray. One boy thanked God for my "kind heart" and how I have been a role model to him. Another girl prayed that we might be more open to trusting God with the "sweet things" that He gives us. I was so touched. Oklahoma is one of my heart homes and I walked away from my brief stay there feeling so encouraged because people could see the joy that I have as I spoke about Liel and the kids that I have grown to love. I am so thankful. To my Okie Family, you have blessed me in ways that I never thought possible. I love ya'll :)
• Earlier in the break, I was also able to share with another supporting church, St. Paul's Lutheran Church in Utica, Maryland. I was able to speak briefly with an adult Sunday school class and then I sat in with the middle school/high school class (consisting of three students). I was really blessed by the time I was able to spend with these three students and two adult teachers particularly because of one special little guy who had $2 for his offering. After explaining that I had to raise my own support, he insisted that I take $1...now, I realize that this is only a little bit of money, but he gave 50% of what he had. I was touched and humbled by his generosity :)
• As many of you know, it has been difficult for me to be disconnected from my community at Grove City College...there are moments when I miss these people so much. I miss them because they know me so well and have supported me and encouraged me for four years...to be an ocean apart, well...that can be hard. And yet, God in His awesome faithfulness let me have sweet fellowship with friends from Grove City...some of the fellowship was planned and some of it was a surprise. Just seeing these people again filled my heart with joy! Jade, Natalie, Amy, Stephen, Rachel, Ali, Erin, and Megan: Thank you for our visits..it was really special and it was exactly what I needed.
  
• I was able to celebrate the engagement of a very dear friend of mine, Katie Klepacki. I was delighted to share in her and her fiance's joy because I can see that this relationship is completely of the Lord. And that is beautiful!
• Family time: People have asked me several times what I miss most about the States. For me, the answer is simple--my family. After not seeing them for five months, my heart longed to be near them. I knew this would be the hardest part about going to Germany, but I trusted God to provide me with a spiritual family and He most certainly has...I have 11 new brothers and sisters :) Even still, the very fact that my family was tangible over break was such a comfort. Just to be hugged by my parents and lifted up by my brother was such a gift--perhaps the best Christmas present ever.
• Special Cards and gifts: While giving is not my love language, I was touched by several special Christmas cards and gifts over break. It is so sweet to be blessed by those who love you and care for you! Though I wasn't expecting this demonstration of love over break, I appreciated it so much. It certainly filled my cup! To my special givers, thank you for your loving kindness!

There will definitely be more updates and highlights to share as time goes on, but for now, I must stop and fold some laundry :) Please continue to pray for us at Liel. It was hard for me to say goodbye to my family at age 22 and yet these students are as young as 13, so I can see that it is much harder for some of them. These past two days have been particularly hard for a few of our girls who are already feeling homesick and missing their moms. If you think of them, please pray that they may be comforted by the Father who is always with them.

Praying for you, my reader, as well...that this new start to the year would be one that you are blessed and challenged by for good.

Peace,
Lauren