A word from my heart...

I promise that this will be my last entry for the day, but this is something that I yearn to share with you. In these entries, I have spoken of the children, I have shared pictures, I have described in part what we are doing here, but I haven't described how I am doing.

Last night, I was so grateful for a two-hour conversation with my precious friend, Katie Klepacki, who was my roommate and Co-RA for two years at Grove City College. I miss her...a lot.

Over the past month and a half, I have been so busy--learning how to drive, learning about residence life policies, meeting new people, cooking meals, cleaning, running errands, getting to know children, etc.--that I didn't realize how empty I was.

Last Friday, I was reviewing my Birkman personality test results with a Campus Crusades missionary and I lost it. The poor woman! We were talking about my personal needs and when I realized that there were needs not being met, I could no longer fight the tears that were beginning to wet my eyes. As a missionary, I am not perfect...I am not a saint...I do not possess exhaustive knowledge about the Lord...I sin...I fall short...I have real pain, real hurt, real struggles...and I have real needs. I need the Lord and I need His people.

While I do love my job and while I do rejoice that the Lord brought me here, it is hard to be so far away from family, friends, and the women who have been such a great source of spiritual wisdom and encouragement. I confess that I still grieve the loss of community and fellowship that I found at GCC and the church in Oklahoma. I miss my family too. I would be so grateful if you joined me in prayer over my need for fellowship. Please pray for a mentor, an older woman who might have the time to study Scripture with me, pray with me, and share life with me here.

Despite these moments of homesickness if that is what one would call them, I was gently reminded last Sunday in a sweet time with the Lord that He is for me!

The Lord used the following Scripture from I Peter 1 to speak to my heart and provide me with the peaceful assurance of the work He has already done on my behalf...

"For you know that it was not with perishable things such as silver and gold that you were redeemed from the empty way of life handed down to you from your forefathers, but with the precious blood of Christ, a lamb without blemish or defect. He was chosen before the creation of the world, but was revealed in these last time for your sake." (vs. 18-20)

After being so moved over the course of last week by this Scripture, I continued to process the realities of "emptiness" and "fullness." The following is a summary of how the Lord's Word became life for me here...

Beloved,

I have redeemed you from the empty way of life. The precious blood of my Son was shed for your sake. I have not called you to Germany to be empty. I have not called you to Germany to live an unmeaningful and void life. I have called you to Germany to live a full and meaningful life. You need only to run to me, the source of living water, and you will never be thirsty again.

I will satisfy your needs in a sun scorched land, I will strengthen your weary frame, you will be like a well watered garden, like a spring whose waters never fail.