"There is only Christ: he is everything."
Colossians 3:11, JB
Over the past month, I have been challenged. I bought a round trip ticket to the States and was holding my grandmother's hand within 24 hours as her battle with cancer was ending. I grieved her death with my family two days later. Four days after that, I returned to Germany to find that by October 26, the personnel office at BFA needed to know what my intentions were for the 2012-2013 school year. I was overwhelmed. It seemed as if too much was being required of me.
Several weeks later, after having the time that I needed to process and grieve, I was able to see that the beauty in all of it was that Jesus was there...
When I saw my grandmother's frail body, there was an immediate understanding that this was not what the Lord created her for. She was not created to have a body ravaged and destroyed by disease. She was created for so much more. And so, in celebrating her life, He gave me hope. Those who believe will be restored. Those who believe will receive new life. Those who believe will experience precisely and completely what they were created for--intimate fellowship with their Creator. My grandmother's death was indeed swallowed up in victory through Jesus Christ (I Cor. 15). I am so incredibly blessed that the Lord made a way for me to be home through the generous gifts of my family.
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While in the States and upon returning to Germany, I have fielded many questions about what I will be doing next year (when accepted by BFA in February of 2010, I signed a two-year contract and raised support for two years). To be completely honest, these questions have burdened me because I didn't and still don't have an answer. I have thoughts and I certainly have hopes, but I don't have a plan. And this makes me feel irresponsible. The pressure is familiar. I am immediately reminded of my senior of college and my senior year of high school. And I certainly don't welcome the stress and anxiety that seems to accompany feeling "lost."
But in reality, I am far from lost. In fact, I am following Jesus. I am not alone on this journey. I am being led. I do have a leader. He has called me to wait. He has called me to trust. It is not in His character or nature to supernaturally reveal the future to me. Otherwise, why would I need to trust Him?
For the next 8 months, I am sure of one thing--I have the privilege of serving and loving high school girls at Black Forest Academy. This reality brings me joy.
Friends, I don't know much. I don't know why some suffer through disease. I don't know what the future holds for you or for me. But I do know Christ and He is everything.
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Over the past three days,
three people have called my attention to the Lord's words spoken to David in Psalm 32...
"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go;
I will counsel you with my eye upon you...
...steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the Lord." (vs. 8-10)
For God to keep His eye upon us, revealing His vigilance (n.-the action or state of keeping careful watch for possible danger or difficulties) and intimate care over all who believe...
And for God to promise us steadfast (adj.-resolutely or dutifully firm and unwavering) love when we trust Him...
This is the Christ that I will wait upon. He is everything.
